Sunday, May 15, 2011

Umami Versus Dr. Lois

It was time for Umami's checkup with Dr. Lois.  It's an ongoing battle in which Dr. Lois tries to get Umami to "watch his diet and eat healthier" and to get more "exercise."  She always threatens to prescribe cholesterol medication, but Umami always squeaks by.  This time, however, promised to be scary, given the fairly recent trip Vegas and much dining out.

After having bloods drawn for the battery of tests, Umami decided to grossly indulge ahead of hearing the bad news.  So off he went to CGee's for a Brown and White Food Extravaganza.
Boneless Chicken/BBQ Hamburger Steak Mix
This, then, is the Boneless Chicken (Cutlet)/BBQ Hamburger Steak Mix Plate.  Two scoops white rice.  Mac Salad.  White Styrofoam Container.  Dr. Lois would have a heart attack . . . it's a wonder Umami didn't!  It is, of course, fabulous.  Though it should be noted that the BBQ Hamburger Steak is a regular hamburger patty, with a teriyaki sauce ladled over it.  Not a problem, unless you're a BBQ purist, and, if you are, what are you doing eating here in the first place?

Two days later, and the test results are in.  All numbers are okay, except for borderline high total cholesterol (206) and LDL (139).  What do these numbers mean?  It means that Dr. Lois again threatens liver toxic statin cholesterol medication (unless Umami can bring the numbers down)!  The conversation goes like this:

Dr. Lois:  You!  You have to watch what you eat!  Get more exercise!
Umami (bemusedly):  Very true.
Dr. Lois (holding up her right hand):  Here's what you're not supposed to eat, beef, pork, veal, milk, cheese, shellfish, butter, fried foods, sausage, white rice, beer, ice cream, sour cream.
Umami:  (Nods)
Dr. Lois (holding up left hand):  Here's what you can eat, fruits, vegetables, fish, chicken, and turkey.  But no skin and not fried.  (pauses)  So . . . what have you been eating?
Umami:  (pauses)  The stuff on your other hand . . .
Honestly, what else could he say?

But Umami is a trooper, so tries to watch his diet.  He decides to go to Aloha Island Grill for the BBQ Chicken Plate.  With brown rice and toss salad, that's within the dietary guidelines, right?
Spicy BBQ Chicken Plate (Plus Teri-Beef!)
Michele is startled when Umami orders, because he normally goes for the Chicken Sandwich with FRIES!  So Umami regales her with his tale of woe.  Michele's husband, Vil mans the grill, listening, then says, "Umami, you know what, hearing that, I'm going to give you some Teri-Beef!  Just small order!"  And he laughs, and Michele laughs, and Umami laughs, and, somewhere, Dr. Lois does a slow burn (and everybody laughs again).

The Teri-Beef is a new item ($6.50 for a plate) . . . thinly sliced, marinated beef, just enough ginger.  Made a nice mix plate (and would make an Awesome Kim Chee Teri Beef Sandwich)!  Thanks, guys!


CGee's
212 Merchant St
Honolulu, HI 96813
(808) 538-3181



Aloha Island Grill
1111 Bishop Street (Remington College Building)
Honolulu, HI 96813
(808) 545-2960

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